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You’re having an unplanned pregnancy, and now your boyfriend wants you to get an abortion… but you’re not sure you want to. If you get an abortion, will you regret it? If you don’t get an abortion, will he leave? Will you resent him either way? If this is you right now, you’re understandably facing a whirlwind of doubt, fear, and some very tough questions. Let’s talk about what you can do in a situation like this.
If You’re Hesitating To Get An Abortion There are many different reasons why you might hesitate to get an abortion, regardless of whether you’re pro-choice or pro-life. If you’re pro-choice, it’s easy to feel like you’re not accurately representing your beliefs if you choose not to get an abortion. But remember, pro-choice includes the choice to keep a pregnancy, even if it’s unplanned. Having an abortion you don’t want or aren’t sure about, isn’t pro-choice. If you’re pro-life, you might already know whether you want an abortion or not, but still find it just as hard to make that decision when your partner doesn’t agree with it. Understanding His Point Of View Sit down with your partner and have a conversation where you’ll each sincerely attempt to understand each other. Find out why he wants you to have an abortion. What are his reasons? They might include fear of responsibility, financial concerns, or simple unpreparedness - this was, after all, unplanned. Explain why you’re hesitant to have an abortion, and why you might not agree with what he wants. You can understand someone’s perspective, but maintain a different viewpoint. You can understand their reasoning, their emotions, their background, their values, but still… have your own. You might say, “I see where you're coming from, and I understand why you'd feel that way. I just don't see it the same way." You can empathize with someone and still make a different choice. Remember, understanding why he wants you to have an abortion doesn’t mean you owe it to him to get one. Empathy doesn’t equal obligation. If you feel like you owe it to him to have an abortion that you don’t want, consider whether it could stem from a deeper belief that kindness means compliance, from fear of being alone, from a long-standing pattern of putting others’ needs ahead of your own, or just from a strong desire to avoid disappointing him. Somewhere in this conversation, you should discuss the different abortion options and what the procedures are like. As with any medical procedure, you should know what will happen before, during, and after the procedure, as well as any long and short-term risks. Your partner should understand what they’re asking you to do, and you need to be able to give informed consent if you’re considering having the procedure. Talk about all your options - abortion, adoption, and parenting. It’s ok if some options are ruled out very quickly, but you should both have an understanding of why. Be mindful of any signs that he may be pressuring you. It’s one thing for him to communicate his opinion, it’s another thing to try to coerce or manipulate you. If you recognize signs of coercion, it might not be productive or healthy to continue the conversation at that time. What Pressure Looks Like How can you tell whether someone’s just sharing their point of view, or trying to pressure you? Here are some signs to look for.
If you feel pressured to get an abortion that you’re uncertain about, it can be helpful to use statements that show empathy without compromising your own beliefs. Here are some phrases you might be able to use, if it feels right in your situation.
The Future Of Your Relationship Things might not be as bad as they seem. His first reaction isn’t his final reaction. This is tough for both of you, and he might need some time to process the news. Legally, women usually have the right to decide whether they have an abortion or not. The father doesn’t typically have a legal right to make the decision. If you’re being pressured to get an abortion, that coercion can make it feel like abortion is your only choice - but it’s not. Just because they don’t like your other choice, doesn’t mean you don’t still get to choose. If you’re worrying about what the future of your relationship might look like, it could go a few directions, including: If you don’t have an abortion,
Have an honest conversation with your boyfriend. Consider getting counseling - call our team any time of night or day at 720-386-6009. Turn to your support system. See a doctor to make sure you’re healthy. Get an ultrasound to confirm how far along you are. If your boyfriend wants you to get an abortion but you’re unsure, hopefully this guide helps you navigate your emotions, find clarity, and stand up for your choice.
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If you’re reading this, you might be facing an unexpected pregnancy and trying to make sense of a difficult situation, and torn between getting an abortion and keeping your baby. No blog article will be able to make that decision for you. However, having clear, thoughtful information can help you feel more confident and supported as you consider your next steps. This post will help you feel a little more grounded as you figure out the best option for you.
When you're facing an unexpected pregnancy, there are three main paths to consider: - Parenting - Adoption - Abortion There are a few common factors that usually impact someone’s decision to continue the pregnancy or get an abortion: - Finances - Social support - Personal values - Future goals and plans - Emotional attachment - Interest in parenting The factors that are most important to one person might not matter as much to someone else. Everyone’s situation is unique. With that in mind, let’s talk about common reasons why people may or may not choose each of the three options: Parenting Reasons why people choose not to parent: - They don’t feel prepared to parent right now. - They don’t want to be a parent, ever. - They don’t want to raise a child with their current partner. - They don’t think it’s good timing to become a parent. - They don’t have enough financial stability. - They don’t have a good support system. - Parenting would stop them from pursuing other goals. Reasons why people choose to parent: - They always wanted to become a parent. - Choosing to parent aligns with their values. - They’re attracted to the joys of parenting. - They’re emotionally bonded to the baby. - Parenting gives them purpose and hope for the future. - They’re uncertain about being able to have kids later on. - They think they’ll regret aborting or adopting. Adoption Reasons why people choose not to have an adoption: - They feel connected to their baby. - They’re worried about what would happen to their baby. - They want the opportunity to be a mother. - They have concerns about the adoptive process. - They’re worried about being judged. - They think the long-term impact will be negative. - They want to keep the pregnancy a secret. Reasons why people choose to have an adoption: - They want more life experience before being responsible for a child. - They aren’t interested in raising a family. - They’re not in a healthy or long-term relationship. - They don’t think they can provide a stable, safe home for a child. - They want to give adoptive parents the chance to have a family. - They want to help the child have parents who will care for it. - They don’t want to have an abortion. Abortion Reasons why people choose not to abort: - They’re willing, or even excited, to parent. - They would rather let another couple adopt their baby. - They don’t want to go through the medical procedure. - Their partner, family, friends, counselor, or confidante are supportive. - They’re able to get financial assistance. - They have access to resources that help them pursue their other goals. - They’re honoring their religious beliefs or personal values. Reasons why people choose to abort: - They don’t want to carry the pregnancy to term. - They don’t want to give birth. - They have health concerns. - The pregnancy resulted from a traumatic event. - They want to move on with their lives relatively quickly. - They don’t want to go through an adoption. - They don’t want to parent. When you’re ready, it might help to set aside some quiet time to think about your situation - a time when you’ll have some privacy and won’t be interrupted. Have some water, a snack, a notepad, and a pen nearby. If you start feeling overwhelmed, take a few deep breaths. While it’s important to have the support of others when making a life-changing decision like this, it can also be helpful to go into those conversations with a good sense of your own situation. If you want to speak with a licensed counselor, get financial help with medical care or tuition, or find a support group with other students, call or text us at 720-386-6009. Our compassionate confidantes are ready to listen to you and help you understand all of your options any time of day or night (it’s free and completely confidential). The Avi Project provides all the resources, education, and emotional tools expectant students need to take the fear out of college pregnancy. We're the bridge between college pregnancy and the necessary resources to navigate through it, and we don’t think any student should have to go through it alone. Learn how to get help when you’re pregnant in college. From financial resources to emotional support, discover the options available to help you balance school and motherhood. You don’t have to face an unplanned pregnancy alone.
Help Evaluating Choices Licensed counselors and health specialists can help you understand your options and empower you to make important choices about how to move forward. Typically, they will outline the options of keeping the baby, having an adoption, or having an abortion. When making an important decision like this one, it’s important to explore all the support options available to you. If you have educational goals and a dream career, you don’t have to sacrifice them just because life took an unexpected turn. Call or text our team at 720-386-6009 to be put in touch with a compassionate advisor. Help With Academic Challenges As a pregnant student, you’re legally protected. Title IX, a federal law in the US, protects parenting and pregnant college students from sex-based discrimination. It ensures that expectant students have access to the same educational opportunities as other students, including scholarships and financial aid. Familiarizing yourself with Title IX can help when requesting accommodations leave of absence, or deadline extensions. Help With Finances It’s ok if you’re wondering how you’ll be able to afford an unplanned pregnancy in college.Fortunately, there are steps you can take, including making a budget, getting help from government organizations, learning to live frugally, and considering whether to ask your family for financial support. If asking your family for help isn’t an option, there are charitable organizations like The Avi Project that are eager to connect you with financial resources. There are also many scholarships, grants, and tuition assistance programs that are open just for expectant and parenting students. Help Getting Medical Care Finding a healthcare provider and understanding your health insurance options can be overwhelming when you’re already navigating a major life change. However, you’ll need medical support regardless of what else happens in the next few months. If you recently found out you’re pregnant, you should have the pregnancy confirmed by a doctor. You’ll also want to have a medical professional to contact in case you experience unexpected health changes. The Avi Project connects students in Colorado with health and wellness specialists and low cost medical care. Help With Housing If you’re living in a dorm room, you may need to find a new housing arrangement on campus. If your roommate or housing agreement doesn’t allow for a baby, if your space isn’t big enough, or if your current living situation isn’t conducive to maintaining your health, other on-campus housing may be available. In case you need to find housing off-campus, it’s ok to ask for help finding a safe, clean environment for your family. Charitable organizations like ours specialize in housing assistance for pregnant students. Help With Emotional Distress We’re proud to connect students with licensed counselors for crisis counseling and help them find support groups of other students who understand what they’re going through. It’s not uncommon to experience feelings of anxiety or depression when faced with major life changes, especially when they’re unexpected. A counselor can help you work through overwhelming emotions, plan for the future, and feel ready to make difficult decisions. Help With Your Career You wanted to go to college, graduate, and start an amazing career. That doesn’t have to change. Being pregnant while in school may present certain challenges, but alternative learning options like online courses, evening classes, or part-time study can keep you moving towards your goals while balancing new responsibilities. Connecting with a mentor who can direct you to internships, networking opportunities, and job fairs in your field can help you progress toward your goals. Help in Colorado We’re here to support pregnant college students across Colorado, connecting them with a variety of resources including licensed counselors, medical care, career counselors, and adoption services. We have a dedicated team ready to support you at several Colorado campuses, including Denver, Lakewood, Golden, Fort Collins, Greeley, Boulder, and Colorado Springs. Text or call us at 720-386-6009 to learn more - it’s confidential and commitment-free. Women facing unexpected pregnancy often worry they’ll regret the way they handled this difficult situation. It can seem like there are no good options, and any choice could destroy your future, ruin your relationships, or both. Students experiencing unexpected pregnancy frequently worry about how their choice will impact their college plans and career path. There is an enormous amount of pressure to make the right choice, but it can feel impossible to know what that is.
Evaluating all your options - keeping the baby, having an abortion, or going through with adoption - can be overwhelming. Today, we’re going to discuss abortion, and one of the most common questions about it - “Will I regret having an abortion?” It’s a reasonable question to ask before any life-changing procedure, including this one. The good news is that there are more and more studies on the long-term impact of abortion. The bad news is that they’re somewhat conflicting. One study found that 84% of women mostly had positive feelings about their abortion several years afterward. Another study found that 53-63% of women experienced guilt, 41-66% experienced regret, 64-74% sadness, and 31-43% anger. Yet another study found that, five years post-abortion, more than 95% of respondents said that abortion was the right decision for them. But then another study reported that 60% of women who had abortions would have preferred not to. Some people have questioned whether these studies were designed correctly and whether there could have been biases at play, but regardless, the conflicting results can be confusing. So, for women who do regret having an abortion - why do they regret it? What factors can increase your chances of experiencing regret? Some women have an abortion, want children, but then experience infertility later in life and are unable to have kids. Some women were pressured or coerced into having an abortion that they didn’t want, or felt obligated to have an abortion for their partner or their family. Some women discover that the medical procedure is not what they expected. They regret having an abortion because if they had known what the medical procedure was like, they wouldn’t have wanted it. Some women regret their abortion because they wonder who their child would have been, and what life would be like now with them in it. Some women wanted to keep their baby, but felt like external factors made caring for a child impossible. There are a range of other feelings that can accompany regret, including loss, guilt, shame, and even depression, creating a complicated emotional landscape. While an unclear percentage of women regret their abortion, those who do regret it often report that it’s the thing they regret most in life and it’s continued to bother them for decades after the procedure. Abortion regret, when it does happen, is very personal and multi-faceted. Hopefully in the future, we will develop a better understanding of how abortion impacts women and their mental health in the long-term. Abortion Regret FAQs How long does abortion grief last? This varies widely. Some women do not report experiencing grief after their abortions. Some women find that abortion grief lasts a few months, and fades with time. Some women don’t experience grief about their abortion until years after it happened. And other women regret their abortions almost immediately, and grieve for decades afterward. What percentage of people regret having an abortion? Studies report highly variable rates of abortion regret and mental health struggles following abortion. Is it normal to regret an abortion? Any life event where you experience loss or make a difficult and life-changing decision has the potential to trigger regret. Is having an abortion traumatic? There are several different ways to have an abortion, and some women find the procedures more traumatic than others. It’s important to learn about what abortion involves to best judge whether it would be a traumatic experience for you. If you’re a pregnant student facing unplanned pregnancy, and you’re not sure how to move forward, the Avi Project specializes in supporting unexpectedly pregnant college students. We want every student to feel truly free to make the best choice for them, without worrying that they’re sacrificing their education or career. By providing resources like tuition assistance, housing, medical care, access to licensed counselors, career counseling, and more, we empower students to chase their dreams, and ensure they have the support they need to pursue their education. Contact us any time, any day, at 720-386-6009. If you don’t like talking on the phone, texting is just fine. It’s 100% confidential and commitment-free. Expecting a baby while in college? Filling out the FAFSA (Free Application for Federal Student Aid) can be stressful for anyone, but it can feel especially overwhelming when you’re pregnant. Balancing financial stress, unexpected pregnancy, and the demands of college is a lot to handle. If you’re wondering how big life changes like these impact your eligibility for federal financial aid, keep reading. In this guide, we’ll walk through common questions about the FAFSA, ensuring you get the support you need to succeed in school with a growing family.
Is my unborn baby included in my household size on my FAFSA? The FAFSA was overhauled for the 2024-2025 school year. In the past, students were able to claim unborn children on their FAFSA under certain conditions. However, this has changed. If you’re pregnant, your baby should not be included in your household size. Unborn children cannot be claimed as dependents. Do people with larger families get more financial aid? In the past, larger families were likely to receive more college financial aid, but with the new changes, family size has less of an impact. However, once you have a child, you are classified as an independent student which can make you eligible for more financial aid. What is an independent student vs a dependent student? According to studentaid.gov, an independent student is at least one of these:
Can I change my family size once my baby is born? You can change your family size when you fill out the FAFSA for the next school year, after the baby is born. If you would like to update your FAFSA sooner, contact your financial aid office and ask them if they will help you update your information. Once your baby arrives, you may be able to update your household size before the next school year by making an appointment with a financial aid counselor. Be prepared to share documentation of your child’s birth, such as a birth certificate or social security card, and to fill out paperwork. Some students find it more effective to make an appointment with the head of the financial aid office. Should I wait to fill out the FAFSA until my baby is born? If your baby is due after the classes begin, but before the FAFSA is due, you might wonder if you should wait to submit your FAFSA so you can claim your child as a dependent. Generally, students who submit the FAFSA earlier receive more financial aid because some aid is given on a first-come first-served basis. However, if claiming your child as a dependent would significantly change your eligibility for financial aid based on your personal situation, it may be worth it to wait. Make sure you speak with a financial aid advisor to determine the best course of action for your unique situation. Do medical expenses impact my FAFSA? Medical expenses can increase the amount of federal financial aid you receive, especially if the medical expenses are very high or not covered by insurance. These are considered “special circumstances,” and may qualify you for an adjustment to your federal aid. Reach out to your financial aid office for more information about what documents are required to file a special circumstance. Should I update my FAFSA if I get married? Married students are classified as independent, and may be eligible for more financial aid. However, if your spouse has a high income, that may reduce the amount of financial aid you receive. Generally, the FAFSA is meant to reflect your life situation at the time it’s initially submitted. However, if you think updating your marriage status on your FAFSA before the next school year would help you financially, reach out to your financial aid office to find out if you can update it before then. What if I need to make other changes to my FAFSA application? Some information can be updated online by logging into your account at studentaid.gov. If you have any difficulties, reach out to your financial aid office. Where do I fill out the FAFSA? Visit studentaid.gov to create an account and fill out the form online. If you have any other questions about filling out the FAFSA, it’s best to speak with an advisor at your school's office. Your financial aid office will be able to provide the most updated information about properly filling out the FAFSA, as well as answer questions about your unique financial situation. If your federal financial aid is not enough to get you through the school year with a new baby on the way, please call or text our team at 720-386-6009 to learn more about the financial support we provide to pregnant students, which include medical care, tuition assistance, financial assistance, housing, and more. We’re excited to help you chase your educational goals while raising your family. Facing an unexpected pregnancy during college can feel overwhelming, both emotionally and financially. How do you afford a baby in college, especially when your pregnancy is unexpected? How do you juggle the costs of textbooks, tuition, and dorms with the costs of prenatal care, maternity clothes, and diapers? What do you do if you’re pregnant and simply can’t provide for a child? Let’s look at some of your financial options when going through an unplanned pregnancy on a budget. While it may seem daunting, there are resources and strategies that can help.
Start where you are! Get a clear picture of your current finances. How much do you have saved? What is your monthly income? What are your regular expenses? Do you have any debt? These are all questions you could easily answer when putting together a budget. If you don’t have a budget already - don’t worry, it’s simpler to make one than you think. To get started, follow these steps:
Factor in an unplanned pregnancy with a pregnancy budget. Next, factor pregnancy into your budget. It might be intimidating, but this is an important next step! Breaking pregnancy costs down into categories can help make this process more manageable, and help you feel more in control. Here are a few categories to consider when forecasting pregnancy costs:
Consider whether to ask parents or family for financial support. Your parents might be much more accepting and encouraging in this difficult time than you would expect. After all, they love you and want what’s best for you. On the other hand, you may not have parents you feel comfortable being this vulnerable with. It takes a leap of faith to ask your parents for financial help when you’re facing an unexpected pregnancy. You might not want to face their judgement or anger. That’s alright, you still have options. If you’re not sure whether to ask your parents for help or not, here are a few situations where asking your parents for help might not be the best first step to financial security:
Get help from charitable and government organizations. There are many charitable organizations that will help pregnant students take care of themselves, their babies, and their educational goals. The Avi Project helps students afford medical care, tuition, and housing. Food, clothing, care packages, and other material resources are available as well. Financial assistance is a key part of our proven program designed just for expectant college students. Call or text 720-386-6009 to learn more (it’s confidential and commitment-free). For a detailed list of government programs, scholarships, and other financial aid opportunities, check out our other blog post on Scholarships, Tuition Assistance & Financial Aid for Pregnant Students. Live frugally and stretch your dollar. There’s a lot of great advice out there about how to live frugally and make the most of every dollar, but here are a few tips to get you started:
It can take time to adopt a frugal mindset and build new habits, so focus on making one new lifestyle change each week if it feels overwhelming. Celebrate small wins along the way. Even small changes can have a big impact on your savings, and every adjustment is a step in the right direction. While you work through this process, don’t be scared to ask for help! Financial support may be top of mind, but emotional support can be just as valuable when navigating a challenge like this. We are available 24/7 to talk through your situation, identify your options, and help you make a plan (720-386-6009). No matter what your support system looks like, you shouldn’t have to go through this alone. When morning sickness, doctor appointments, and even childbirth conflict with your college schedule, what are you supposed to do? Do colleges accommodate pregnant students in these situations? If you’re struggling to keep up with the demands of your college curriculum, it’s time to request accommodations for your pregnancy or pregnancy-related conditions.
Pregnant students are protected by Title IX, a federal law that prohibits gender-based discrimination in educational institutions. Any college that receives federal funding is required to treat pregnant students with disabilities just like any other student with disabilities. Let’s talk about what accommodations are available to pregnant students, why you might need them, and how to get them. What are accommodations for pregnant students? An accommodation is an exception or adjustment granted to an individual to ensure equal access to opportunities. When someone experiences disability in a university setting, accommodations remove barriers to education. Often, there’s a stipulation that the accommodations must be “reasonable.” What are reasonable accommodations? A reasonable accommodation provides equal access to an opportunity, without causing undue hardship for the college. It effectively solves a problem for the student, but is not overly burdensome on the educational institution, including the professor and other students. What are some examples of accommodations for pregnant and parenting students? Accommodations are very unique to your personal situation, and there isn’t an exhaustive list of what accommodations are and are not allowed. The best approach is to discuss your needs with the disability services office and explore what accommodations might work for you, but here are a few ideas to consider:
What conditions qualify for accommodations? Accommodations are available for a wide range of pregnancy-related conditions and disabilities. Some of the most common ones include:
How do I get accommodations? Getting accommodations shouldn’t be difficult, but going through the formal process does take a few steps. Here’s a quick way to get started:
Navigating college as a pregnant or parenting student can be challenging, but with the right accommodations and support, success is within reach. By understanding your rights under Title IX, connecting with your school’s resources, and advocating for your needs, you can create a pathway that balances your academic goals with your responsibilities as a parent. If you need help navigating the college experience with an unexpected pregnancy, don’t hesitate to reach out to us at any time of day or night. Our team at The Avi Project is available 24/7 to help Colorado students succeed in their academic careers. Text or call us at 720-386-6009 to learn more about the emotional, monetary, and material support available to you. It’s completely confidential and commitment-free. Remember, you’re not alone—your community is there to help, and countless students have thrived in similar circumstances. With determination and the proper support, you can achieve your educational dreams while providing for your family. Yes, you can go to college with a newborn! Going to university with a new baby takes dedication and careful planning, but many mothers find it rewarding. It’s entirely possible to pursue your academic goals while nurturing your little one.
When deciding whether to attend college classes with a newborn at home, there are many factors to consider. In this post we’ll explore the vital role of a support system, our best tips for going to school with a newborn, some common challenges you might experience and how to overcome them, and when you might consider taking a semester off. Getting Support A good support system can make even the most overwhelming tasks feel simple and doable. Everyone’s support system looks a little different, and there’s not just one right way to ask for help! You might rely on your family, friends, teachers, babysitters, neighbors, doctors, or even non-profit organizations in different ways while caring for a newborn. No matter who’s there for you during this time, be sure to communicate clearly about scheduling, needs, and baby’s habits to avoid resentment. A little communication and intentionality can go a long way to avoid misunderstandings. Many new moms find it helpful to have someone watch their baby during classes or while studying. Additionally, getting help with daily chores can also give you a little more energy each day to focus on your schoolwork and your newborn. Non-profit organizations that specialize in helping new moms succeed in college can offer a variety of financial, material, and emotional support. Our team at The Avi Project designed a proven program to walk with students through the uncertainty of unexpected pregnancy. We provide tuition assistance, career counseling, baby food and clothing, and most importantly - compassion and understanding. If you’re a student in Colorado facing unplanned pregnancy, call or text us at 720-386-6009 for free and confidential counseling. Tips For Going To School With A Newborn Here are our best tips for going to college with a newborn baby. It’s important to find what works for your unique situation - don’t worry if it takes some trial and error to get into a new routine.
Challenges You might have heard of “the 4th trimester,” which refers to the first twelve weeks after giving birth. During these early months, babies require constant attention, relying on their caregivers to meet their every need, making this time crucial for bonding. New moms are also recovering from birth and possibly surgery, going through hormone shifts, learning how to breastfeed or bottle feed, and adjusting to a new life of parenthood. If this is your first child, then parenthood is a completely new part of your life, and it’s natural to need time to adjust to this change. During those first three months, it’s common for moms to feel overwhelmed. If you experience unexpected medical complications or have a c-section, recovery may take longer than anticipated. Remember that your well-being and your baby’s health always come first! Some mothers also experience postpartum depression, which can make it more challenging to keep up with coursework. Additionally, caring for a newborn who needs to be fed every couple of hours can understandably lead to fatigue and sleep deprivation. Having a good support system in place can truly make all the difference during this special time in your life. Taking A Semester Off New moms do not have to take a semester off, but they should if they feel it’s best. If you’re uncertain what to do, consider easing back into your college curriculum after giving birth by temporarily reducing your class load. Some moms take just one or two classes, or take classes that are twice a week instead of three times a week, while they adjust to parenthood. This can help keep your momentum with school while prioritizing your well-being and mental health. Take note of the deadline for dropping classes, and be gentle with yourself if your course load ends up being too much. It may help to give your course load a try, but remain open to deferring one or all of your classes if it ends up being too much. And remember - it’s ok to aim for “good enough” right now. You don’t need to be getting A+ and extra credit while navigating this huge life change. Listen to your body and prioritize your mental health. Do What’s Best For Your Family New moms can go to college with a newborn if they want to! Life does not end with pregnancy or parenthood, and a little support and planning can go a long way. There will always be something unexpected or challenging happening in your life, and it will never be the perfect time to finish your degree. If you’re going to have a baby soon, and are wondering if you have to take a semester off… you don’t have to unless that’s what’s best for you, your baby, and your growing family. Many things happen when you find yourself unexpectedly pregnant in college, and several areas of your life can be impacted including your education, career, and finances. You might worry about being able to finish your degree, keep your scholarship, or pursue a career. What happens now?
A pregnancy might not have been something you planned for during college, but there are many resources available to you, organizations who want to help support you, and legal protections in place (such as Title IX). Most importantly, you do not have to be alone during this challenging time. So if you’re facing an unplanned pregnancy, whether you’re a freshman, sophomore, junior, or senior, take it one day at a time and ask for help when you need it. What happens after I get a positive pregnancy test? You will probably feel a lot of different emotions like shock, anxiety, or anger. It’s healthy to acknowledge those feelings. When you’re ready, there are a few simple steps you can take to start removing some of your uncertainty about the future. First, see your doctor to confirm your pregnancy with medical testing. Taking care of your health is important, no matter what you decide to do later on. It’s also a good time to lean on your support system (or build a support system) that can be there for you while you learn about your options for dealing with an unexpected pregnancy. What happens to my college classes? If you’re able to, continue attending your college classes as usual. Here are some tips for managing the demands of college during pregnancy. If you’re finding it difficult to attend your classes due to morning sickness, doctor appointments, or similar challenges, a federal law called Title IX protects parenting and pregnant college students from discrimination. Title IX prohibits sex-based discrimination in educational programs, and requires your college to make reasonable accommodations when necessary. These accommodations might include excused absences, flexible deadlines, or adjustments to class schedules. Pregnancy should be treated the same as any other medical condition. What happens to my plans for future semesters? In the long-term, you might wonder if you will have to take a break from college. This depends on your personal circumstances and preferences, but many women are able to continue their schooling without taking a semester off. While there are many questions to ask yourself when deciding whether to take a break from school, remember that many moms have gone through the exact same thing, and school staff are used to working with students through unexpected life changes. What happens to my financial aid? It’s a good idea to double-check the terms and conditions of any scholarships you were awarded, but generally your scholarship eligibility will not be affected by pregnancy due to Title IX laws. Additionally, you may be able to apply for more scholarships, since there are many scholarship opportunities just for moms. You may also qualify for more financial aid through programs like the FAFSA, pell grants, or state grants. What happens with my professors, classmates, friends, and family? How you want to share the news of your unexpected pregnancy is entirely up to you. Telling your professor that you’re pregnant can be helpful because then you can ask for accommodations and you’re legally protected. Your classmates may eventually notice your pregnancy, but you do not owe them any personal information. Telling your parents can be nerve-wracking, but they may also be able to offer a lot of emotional and financial support during a difficult time. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to your parents, it can help to confide in a trusted friend first. Your friend can support you during conversations with others, including when you talk to your parents. What happens to my sorority membership? If you’re a member of a sorority, check the by-laws to see if there are any rules regarding pregnancy and motherhood. Your sorority leaders should also be able to offer compassionate guidance. You may want to consider whether sorority life is something you still want to give your time to as well, since it can be very demanding. Prioritizing self-care during this time can help you maintain a positive outlook on the future. What happens to my sports scholarship? The NCAA says that athletic awards cannot be withdrawn due to pregnancy. While a student athlete may withdraw voluntarily, they can not be forced to quit. Pregnant student athletes are protected by the same bylaws that protect injured student athletes. What happens to my career? You have not ruined your chances of having a successful career. Have hope - your career is not over before it could begin! Your future is filled with opportunities, and an unexpected life change doesn't diminish your potential or worth. Your achievements and all of your efforts speak for themselves. If you’re a college student facing an unplanned pregnancy, it’s natural to feel nervous. When deciding what to do next, be sure to gather all the information so you can make an informed decision. There is probably more support available to you than you know! You do not need to feel like you don’t have any options. With the right financial, medical, and emotional support, you have so much freedom to choose whatever is best for you and your baby. For students located in Colorado, our team at The Avi Project is available 24/7 to talk through your situation, help identify your options, and make a plan. Call or text 720-386-6009. Deciding how to announce an unplanned pregnancy can be difficult. It can be even more nerve-wracking if you’re a college student or a single parent. It’s okay to be nervous about how people will react to the news, but you don’t have to let it stop you from seeking the support you need.
Worries about nosy questions and judgemental comments can take away a lot of your peace during a time when you need extra compassion and understanding. Maybe you’re also concerned that parents or other family members will try to make decisions for you, or give you unsolicited advice. There are a few ways to prepare for these kinds of unhelpful reactions, and redirect the focus to what’s best for you and your baby. First, Prepare To Announce An Unexpected Pregnancy Take some time to reflect on why you might want to tell people about your unexpected pregnancy, and what you’re hoping to achieve with these conversations.
There can be many good reasons to announce your unplanned pregnancy, but understanding your reasons can help you decide who to tell, when, and how. It’s important to think about who might be able to offer you the type of support you’re looking for, and who might not. Keep in mind that many women have announced an unplanned pregnancy before you, and have been surprised by warmth and acceptance when they were afraid of rejection. Do You Still Want To Tell Them? After getting a better understanding of why you want to share your news, you might realize that there are some people who will not be willing or able to offer you the support you need. Or, maybe you’ll decide to share the news privately with close friends and family instead of announcing it on social media. There may be people in your life that you choose to tell at a later time, and that’s ok. Who Should You Tell First? Consider announcing the pregnancy to whoever is the most stabilizing force in your life, first. For example, it may be helpful to tell a close friend about your pregnancy before your parents. Or maybe you should tell your parents before telling your partner, depending on how healthy your relationship is. Someone who is calm and reassuring can be there for you through difficult conversations, and help advocate for you. They may be able to help you break the news to other friends and family. If you’re still not sure who to tell first, consider reaching out to a non-profit that specializes in unplanned pregnancy care. Our team at Avi Project is dedicated to helping pregnant college students navigate these kinds of difficult conversations and decisions. Becoming unexpectedly pregnant doesn't change the fact that you have hopes and dreams for the future. We're here to help in providing the support you need. Call or text 720-386-6009, completely confidentially, and commitment-free. We’re available 24/7. How Long Should You Wait To Announce Pregnancy? It’s common to wait three months before announcing a pregnancy, because the risk of miscarriage can decrease significantly after the first trimester. However, there are many reasons why some women announce sooner or wait until later. These reasons can include:
For example, some employees may share the news with their manager early so their team is able to plan for maternity leave. Other employees may wait to share the news if trust with their managers is low. Or if you’re needing a flexible schedule to accommodate doctor appointments and morning sickness, it can make sense to explain why your needs have changed. There are also many legal protections for pregnant mothers at school and in the workplace. Remember, there isn’t a perfect time to share the news of an unexpected pregnancy, and this is a personal decision that depends on your unique situation and preferences. How To Announce Pregnancy When You’re In College If you’re wondering how to announce your pregnancy to your parents, classmates, or professors, you’re not alone. Many students have asked the same questions. While you weigh the pros and cons of sharing this news, you should consider the legal protections that are available to students through Title IX, as well as the many opportunities for financial aid. Telling your parents that you’re pregnant in college can be especially difficult, which is why we wrote a separate guide just for this. How To Announce Pregnancy When You’re Single It’s important to stay positive when making your pregnancy announcement. This will set the tone for how people react to your news. It’s also important to set boundaries with what you’re willing to share, and what you would like to keep private. You shouldn’t feel obligated to explain why you’re single or where the father is. Hopefully you have a couple of confidantes who understand what you’re going through, but not everyone has a right to your personal information. What To Say If Someone Asks A Rude Question If you’re worried about getting rude comments or personal questions, it can help to know how to respond before starting a conversation. Although some people might intend to hurt your feelings, often, people don’t realize they are being insensitive or overbearing. Here are a few examples of replies you might use to protect your boundaries and diffuse a tense situation:
How To Announce An Unplanned Pregnancy On Social Media You do not have to announce your pregnancy on social media if you don’t want to! But if you would like to share your news on Facebook, Instagram, or other social sites, here are a few ideas: "We have some unexpected news to share: we're excited to announce that our family is growing! While this was a surprise, we are embracing this new chapter with love and joy. Thank you for your support and understanding as we navigate this unexpected but beautiful journey." "Sometimes life takes us on unexpected journeys. I’m thrilled to share that I’m embarking on the greatest adventure of all: becoming a parent! While this news was a surprise, I'm filled with hope and excitement for the future. Your support and love are appreciated as I step into this new role.” "Life has brought me an unexpected but beautiful surprise: I’m going to be a parent. This news came as a shock, but I’m choosing to embrace it with love and hope. Your understanding and support mean so much to me as I prepare for this new chapter in my life.” Announcing your pregnancy on social media can help you avoid awkwardness in the future. It can also be a relief to share your exciting news and celebrate your baby for the gift that he or she is! |
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