How Do I Tell My Parents I’m Pregnant In College?

There aren’t many things as nerve-wracking as telling your parents you’re pregnant when you’re a college student. Sometimes, just starting the conversation is the hardest part.

You might be embarrassed to say it out loud. “Mom, dad, I’m pregnant.” You might be scared of how your parents will react. Will they be angry? Will they still accept me? Will they be disappointed in me? You might even be worried about financial repercussions. Will my parents stop helping me with tuition? How will I pay for room and board without my parents’ help? 

No matter how nervous you are, you can get through this. We help young women work through situations just like this, and we have some tips on how to handle these difficult conversations. Here’s your guide to telling your parents you’re unexpectedly pregnant.

Take care of yourself first.
Give yourself some time to process this news on your own. Trying to tell your parents you’re pregnant an hour after you found out probably won’t lead to a calm, constructive conversation. This news can be a major shock, and it’s ok if you want to take a few days to let it sink in. 

It can be very helpful to schedule an appointment with your doctor to make sure you are pregnant, and have a discussion with a medical professional before getting family members involved. They may want to do a blood test or an ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy. While you wait for your appointment, journaling might help you process this life-changing news. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed.

Get your partner’s support.
Once you’re able to, consider talking to your partner. If you’re comfortable talking to them about your pregnancy, it can be helpful to have their support when you tell your family the news. If you don’t feel safe talking to your partner, or you haven’t confirmed paternity yet, it can be helpful to talk to a sibling, a good friend, or a counselor first.

Get ready for the big talk.
When you’re ready to talk to your parents, find a good time to talk with them. It might feel like there will never be a good time to tell them you’re pregnant, but remember that you’ll probably feel a sense of relief when it’s over. It can take a lot of energy to keep something like this a secret, and your family might be more supportive than you expect. 

If you want to, practice telling your parents by telling a friend first. Think of what questions they might ask, and what you might want to say to them. They will probably want to know a few things:

• Whether you’ve been sick and whether you’re okay
  
• How many weeks pregnant you are
  
• How you see this impacting your future
  
• Whether you’re considering parenting, adoption, or abortion
  
• Whether you’ve seen a doctor
  
• Who else knows about the pregnancy
  
• Who the father is
  

If you begin to feel too anxious or overwhelmed, it might help to do some mindfulness exercises and refocus on the present. This can be as simple as doing box breaths: inhale for four counts, hold for four counts, exhale for four counts, and hold for four counts. You will get through this!

What to say to your parents.
If you still feel lost for words, here are a few ideas for how to tell your parents you’re pregnant:

• Mom, dad, I’m having a hard time and just got some difficult news. Do you have time to talk?
  
• Do you have time for a call later? It’s been a bad day and I need to talk to you.
  
• Something has happened, and I feel like I should tell you even though it’s really hard. I went to the doctor, and they said I’m pregnant.
  
• There’s something I have to tell you. And you’ll probably be upset. But I’m hoping you will still help me figure out what to do. I took a pregnancy test, and it came back positive.
  
• I recently found out I’m pregnant. I know that’s probably hard for you to hear, and you might need some time to process it. But if we could talk about this more later, it would mean a lot to me.
  
• I’m pregnant. I want you to know that I’m seeing a doctor, and making arrangements to finish school, and it will be okay. I just needed to tell you.
  

Don’t feel pressured to find the perfect words. There’s no perfect way to say this. Just be honest, do your best, and lean on your support system - no matter how your parents react. If you need to build up your support system, there are support groups, online forums, and even counseling available. There are many other students out there going through the same thing you are, and they will understand. No one has to go through this alone, and having a solid support system will help you feel empowered to navigate this chapter of your life.

Make sure you also have a plan for ending the conversation if it’s too much. Your family might want to start making plans immediately, but making decisions when everyone is upset can make the situation worse. Let them know that you want to talk about it again soon, but for now, you have to step away. You might even tell them how you feel - that you’re at least as scared as they are.

If you do need to cut the conversation short, it doesn’t mean you failed. It just means that this was big news that no one expected, and everyone has to process it in their own way. In a few days, your parents might be easier to talk to, and they might be more willing to help.

What now?
If you’re still unsure of how to move forward or how to break the news to your parents, please call or text us at any time. We’re available 24/7 at (720) 386-6009. It’s completely confidential, with no obligations, and it’s free. Our team has helped other students navigate this journey, and we want to help you too. We can also connect you with scholarships, housing, and other financial resources, so if you were relying on your parents for financial support, know that you have options.