Torn Between Having An Abortion And Keeping My Baby

If you’re reading this, you might be facing an unexpected pregnancy and trying to make sense of a difficult situation, and torn between getting an abortion and keeping your baby. No blog article will be able to make that decision for you. However, having clear, thoughtful information can help you feel more confident and supported as you consider your next steps. This post will help you feel a little more grounded as you figure out the best option for you.

When you're facing an unexpected pregnancy, there are three main paths to consider:
- Parenting
- Adoption
- Abortion

There are a few common factors that usually impact someone’s decision to continue the pregnancy or get an abortion:
- Finances
- Social support
- Personal values
- Future goals and plans
- Emotional attachment
- Interest in parenting

The factors that are most important to one person might not matter as much to someone else. Everyone’s situation is unique. With that in mind, let’s talk about common reasons why people may or may not choose each of the three options:

Parenting
Reasons why people choose not to parent:
- They don’t feel prepared to parent right now.
- They don’t want to be a parent, ever.
- They don’t want to raise a child with their current partner.
- They don’t think it’s good timing to become a parent.
- They don’t have enough financial stability.
- They don’t have a good support system.
- Parenting would stop them from pursuing other goals.

Reasons why people choose to parent:
- They always wanted to become a parent.
- Choosing to parent aligns with their values.
- They’re attracted to the joys of parenting.
- They’re emotionally bonded to the baby.
- Parenting gives them purpose and hope for the future.
- They’re uncertain about being able to have kids later on.
- They think they’ll regret aborting or adopting.

Adoption
Reasons why people choose not to have an adoption:
- They feel connected to their baby.
- They’re worried about what would happen to their baby.
- They want the opportunity to be a mother.
- They have concerns about the adoptive process.
- They’re worried about being judged.
- They think the long-term impact will be negative.
- They want to keep the pregnancy a secret.

Reasons why people choose to have an adoption:
- They want more life experience before being responsible for a child.
- They aren’t interested in raising a family.
- They’re not in a healthy or long-term relationship.
- They don’t think they can provide a stable, safe home for a child.
- They want to give adoptive parents the chance to have a family.
- They want to help the child have parents who will care for it.
- They don’t want to have an abortion.

Abortion
Reasons why people choose not to abort:
- They’re willing, or even excited, to parent.
- They would rather let another couple adopt their baby.
- They don’t want to go through the medical procedure.
- Their partner, family, friends, counselor, or confidante are supportive.
- They’re able to get financial assistance.
- They have access to resources that help them pursue their other goals.
- They’re honoring their religious beliefs or personal values.

Reasons why people choose to abort:
- They don’t want to carry the pregnancy to term.
- They don’t want to give birth.
- They have health concerns.
- The pregnancy resulted from a traumatic event.
- They want to move on with their lives relatively quickly.
- They don’t want to go through an adoption.
- They don’t want to parent.

When you’re ready, it might help to set aside some quiet time to think about your situation - a time when you’ll have some privacy and won’t be interrupted. Have some water, a snack, a notepad, and a pen nearby. If you start feeling overwhelmed, take a few deep breaths. While it’s important to have the support of others when making a life-changing decision like this, it can also be helpful to go into those conversations with a good sense of your own situation.

If you want to speak with a licensed counselor, get financial help with medical care or tuition, or find a support group with other students, call or text us at 720-386-6009. Our compassionate confidantes are ready to listen to you and help you understand all of your options any time of day or night (it’s free and completely confidential).

The Avi Project provides all the resources, education, and emotional tools expectant students need to take the fear out of college pregnancy. We're the bridge between college pregnancy and the necessary resources to navigate through it, and we don’t think any student should have to go through it alone.

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