How To Announce An Unplanned Pregnancy When Single Or In College

Deciding how to announce an unplanned pregnancy can be difficult. It can be even more nerve-wracking if you’re a college student or a single parent. It’s okay to be nervous about how people will react to the news, but you don’t have to let it stop you from seeking the support you need. 

Worries about nosy questions and judgemental comments can take away a lot of your peace during a time when you need extra compassion and understanding. Maybe you’re also concerned that parents or other family members will try to make decisions for you, or give you unsolicited advice. There are a few ways to prepare for these kinds of unhelpful reactions, and redirect the focus to what’s best for you and your baby.

First, Prepare To Announce An Unexpected Pregnancy
Take some time to reflect on why you might want to tell people about your unexpected pregnancy, and what you’re hoping to achieve with these conversations. 

• Is it too stressful to keep it a secret? 
  
• Do you want to tell people before they start to notice your bump?
  
• Do you feel like you’re obligated to tell certain people?
  
• Do you need financial help? 
  
• Are you looking for emotional support? 
  
• Do you want someone to go to doctor appointments with you? 
  
• Do you just need to feel a little less alone?
  
• Do you need accommodations at college or at work?
  

There can be many good reasons to announce your unplanned pregnancy, but understanding your reasons can help you decide who to tell, when, and how. It’s important to think about who might be able to offer you the type of support you’re looking for, and who might not. Keep in mind that many women have announced an unplanned pregnancy before you, and have been surprised by warmth and acceptance when they were afraid of rejection.

Do You Still Want To Tell Them?
After getting a better understanding of why you want to share your news, you might realize that there are some people who will not be willing or able to offer you the support you need. Or, maybe you’ll decide to share the news privately with close friends and family instead of announcing it on social media. There may be people in your life that you choose to tell at a later time, and that’s ok.

Who Should You Tell First?
Consider announcing the pregnancy to whoever is the most stabilizing force in your life, first. For example, it may be helpful to tell a close friend about your pregnancy before your parents. Or maybe you should tell your parents before telling your partner, depending on how healthy your relationship is. Someone who is calm and reassuring can be there for you through difficult conversations, and help advocate for you. They may be able to help you break the news to other friends and family. 

If you’re still not sure who to tell first, consider reaching out to a non-profit that specializes in unplanned pregnancy care. Our team at Avi Project is dedicated to helping pregnant college students navigate these kinds of difficult conversations and decisions. Becoming unexpectedly pregnant doesn't change the fact that you have hopes and dreams for the future. We're here to help in providing the support you need. Call or text 720-386-6009, completely confidentially, and commitment-free. We’re available 24/7.

How Long Should You Wait To Announce Pregnancy?
It’s common to wait three months before announcing a pregnancy, because the risk of miscarriage can decrease significantly after the first trimester. However, there are many reasons why some women announce sooner or wait until later. These reasons can include:

• Concerns about privacy
  
• Medical concerns
  
• Career concerns
  
• Whether morning sickness or your baby bump are obvious
  
• Needing to request accommodations from work or school
  
• Need for emotional, financial, or other support
  

For example, some employees may share the news with their manager early so their team is able to plan for maternity leave. Other employees may wait to share the news if trust with their managers is low. Or if you’re needing a flexible schedule to accommodate doctor appointments and morning sickness, it can make sense to explain why your needs have changed. There are also many legal protections for pregnant mothers at school and in the workplace. Remember, there isn’t a perfect time to share the news of an unexpected pregnancy, and this is a personal decision that depends on your unique situation and preferences.

How To Announce Pregnancy When You’re In College
If you’re wondering how to announce your pregnancy to your parents, classmates, or professors, you’re not alone. Many students have asked the same questions. While you weigh the pros and cons of sharing this news, you should consider the legal protections that are available to students through Title IX, as well as the many opportunities for financial aid. Telling your parents that you’re pregnant in college can be especially difficult, which is why we wrote a separate guide just for this.

How To Announce Pregnancy When You’re Single
It’s important to stay positive when making your pregnancy announcement. This will set the tone for how people react to your news. It’s also important to set boundaries with what you’re willing to share, and what you would like to keep private. You shouldn’t feel obligated to explain why you’re single or where the father is. Hopefully you have a couple of confidantes who understand what you’re going through, but not everyone has a right to your personal information.

What To Say If Someone Asks A Rude Question
If you’re worried about getting rude comments or personal questions, it can help to know how to respond before starting a conversation. Although some people might intend to hurt your feelings, often, people don’t realize they are being insensitive or overbearing. Here are a few examples of replies you might use to protect your boundaries and diffuse a tense situation:

• “I’m sorry you seem upset. Let’s continue this conversation later.”
  
• “That’s personal, but thanks for asking.”
  
• “I’m surprised you feel comfortable asking that.”
  
• “Would you mind repeating that?”
  
• “Did you mean that?”
  
• “Do you know how that comes across?”
  
• “I believe we’ve come to the end of this discussion.”
  
• “Can you explain why you said that?”
  
• “I appreciate your perspective.”
  
• “You might not be aware, but that was rude.”
  

How To Announce An Unplanned Pregnancy On Social Media
You do not have to announce your pregnancy on social media if you don’t want to! But if you would like to share your news on Facebook, Instagram, or other social sites, here are a few ideas:

"We have some unexpected news to share: we're excited to announce that our family is growing! While this was a surprise, we are embracing this new chapter with love and joy. Thank you for your support and understanding as we navigate this unexpected but beautiful journey."

"Sometimes life takes us on unexpected journeys. I’m thrilled to share that I’m embarking on the greatest adventure of all: becoming a parent! While this news was a surprise, I'm filled with hope and excitement for the future. Your support and love are appreciated as I step into this new role.”

"Life has brought me an unexpected but beautiful surprise: I’m going to be a parent. This news came as a shock, but I’m choosing to embrace it with love and hope. Your understanding and support mean so much to me as I prepare for this new chapter in my life.”

Announcing your pregnancy on social media can help you avoid awkwardness in the future. It can also be a relief to share your exciting news and celebrate your baby for the gift that he or she is!